The teenage years are a strange period of growth and development that are filled with new experiences. All of them go through hormonal changes and physical changes that contribute to forming their sense of independence and identity. (www.howtoadult.com)
For me, I started the teen decade a naive, shy, unconfident 18 year old and finish it a completely different person approaching 30. Like most teenage years, the teen decade has been somewhat of a rollercoaster; there
have been highs, lows, emotional outbursts, milestones, peer pressure,
intellectual growth, rebellion, relationships formed, break ups and forming my independence. At most times, there have felt like there have been more
negatives than positives, however looking back, they have led me to where I am
now, hopefully ready to embrace the next decade and grab it with both hands...
Based on howtoadult.com teenage traits, I can identify similarities experienced in the years of adolescence with the experiences I have been exposed to in the past decade.
Increased need for independence and development of it
At the beginning of the decade, I was very reliant on other people. The thought of doing things on my own was terrifying. I was close to my family and didn't want to be away from them; one reason why I didn't choose to move away for university.
Fast forward 10 years and due to many different circumstances, I am very independent- although not necessarily in a good way. I have had my family break apart, I no longer speak to one of my parents and have had some one-sided friendships. As a result, I have severe trust issues and for a long period of time, kept myself closed off from anyone. I still find it hard to talk about me and how I feel even with close friends. I have my own job, financial security and own interests. However there is one need for independence I have that is synonymous with independence in teen years; the need for my own space. I have wanted to own my own home for a long time, however feel like the circumstances with buying a house are similar being told by your parents that you're not allowed out of the house! I have tried every way to break the restraints keeping me from buying a house, and am hoping the next decade will see me achieve my goal.
Emotional
While during my actual teen years, I was rarely 'emotional'; I hated arguing and so never back-chatted my parents and wasn't the typical 'moody' teenager, the past decade has caught up with me. Whether it was keeping my feelings buried inside me or I was just a 'late bloomer' in terms of emotional rollercoasters, the past few years in particular have seen a fair few emotional outbursts.
I can pinpoint the exact point that triggered them; my parents split up, I had to leave my childhood home, was angry and completely shut myself off and couldn't talk to anyone. For the first 4-5 years after it happened, I eliminated all emotions; I didn't even cry when my Nan died... at one point the dam broke and I couldn't keep control or a hold on my emotions; I have been angry, sad, distraught, completely flat and even hurt myself. It took a long time for me to seek help, but I have and can begin to see a difference. I am taking medication which is like having someone there to hold my hand, and I'm hoping that within the first years of the new decade, I can reduce and eventually stop my medication.
Rebellious
Again, I didn't rebel against my parents in my teen years, however over the past decade I would say I have rebelled more against society. I don't follow trends or have social media. I didn't do the traditional university route. I am a teacher but don't teach in a classroom, I have friends spanning ages from 3- 63, I am not dating and am learning not to let others influence my life.
Risk taking
I am not a risk taker, however I have learned that if you want something you need to go out and get it. I may not be able to do things I want most, but that doesn't mean I can't achieve something. I have travelled by myself and found a love of exploring, I left a secure job and ended up successfully setting up a business and am starting to dabble professionally in one of my hobbies. Nothing is set in stone, but I am giving it a good go!
Maturing physically
At the start of the decade, I was so uncomfortable and insecure with how I looked. I had a unhealthy relationship with food and my body; I wasn't fat but definitely had body dysmorphia which annoyingly made me seek comfort in food. Mid-way through the decade I joined a gym and it was one of the best things I have ever done. Fitness is now a part of my lifestyle, I have lost weight and toned my body. I still don't like my face, but I learning to compare myself with other less.
Maturing hormonally
I'm not sure if there has been much benefit to this; I'm short, my periods were horrible and while I hope I'm less of an ugly duckling, I definitely did not grow into a beautiful swan...
Becomes more sexually aware
As an 18 year old, I was not your typical sex-crazed teenager. In fact, the thought of sex scared me. I may have even unconsciously decided to be celibate; I hated the idea of people knowing if I'd had sex, hated my naked body and could not imagine someone wanting to have sex with me. Now, I am a lot more interested, have explored sex and accepted my viewpoints on it. I love sex and being close with someone that way. However, I have to be in a committed relationship with someone I completely trust and am attracted to. People still think I am a prudish, frigid person, but I just don't like discussing sex with someone I'm not doing it with.
Socially driven
I've always had a small circle of friends, however it has become more diverse. I am still best friends with someone I first met in Reception at Primary School, and have met 2 people who have become the closest friends I've ever had. However the friendship with my other oldest friend has sadly fizzled out. Neither of us have discussed or acknowledged it, but we are different people and are no longer part of each other's lives. I am very socially introverted- I can go for days and sometimes weeks without seeing different friends, however I know where I stand with them and am always there for them. I have 'acquired' 2 surrogate children who I love as much as I think I would my own children, have 2 'role models' who I can talk to and get advice on how they felt when they were my age, and even though a friend moved to Scotland, I am still really close to her. I have an amazing relationship with my mum, and as cheesy and pathetic as it sounds, the only I thing I need to 'complete my friendship circle' would be a partner who is my absolute best friend.
Intellectual Growth
During the past decade, I have earned a First Class honours degree, completed a PGCE and passed my NQT year. Apart from traditional 'learning' I have also learned more about me, my capabilities and weaknesses, people who are important to me and things I want to prioritise in my life.
Intellectual Growth
During the past decade, I have earned a First Class honours degree, completed a PGCE and passed my NQT year. Apart from traditional 'learning' I have also learned more about me, my capabilities and weaknesses, people who are important to me and things I want to prioritise in my life.
The roaring twenties
I am more optimistic for the start of a new year than I have been for a long time. The last 20s decade was called the Roaring Twenties (even if there was a financial crash at the end!!- hopefully that won't happen!) so I'm hoping I get to experience a small bit of that.
At the end of 2029 (aahh!!) I will be nearly 40... f***. I hope to definitely be in a different house, even if the living situation I would love isn't likely, I hope to still be working for myself and maybe some ventures I am dabbling in will have taken off.
I'd like to travel to different places, continue my fitness, still be financially independent and still be close to the people currently in my life.
I would love to have fallen in love and be in a happy, committed relationship but I don't want to focus on that. I have wasted too much time waiting for that to happen and so want to work on things I know I can achieve and if I'm lucky, hopefully the 'right' person will come along. I'm not sure if I want children at the moment for various reasons, but I want to still be involved in the lives of the 2 children I absolutely adore.
Happy New Decade and here's to the 20s!
xx
Comments
Post a Comment