They say you meet someone when you least expect it. During this year I had completely written off dating as a result of the pandemic; so what's happened? I was set up by a friend with someone her husband knows.
On a normal Tuesday evening, I was happily watching tele when my friend rang me to say her husband was working with someone who had asked if he knew any single people. My name was thrown into the mix so they sent me a photo of him to ask me what I thought.
He looked 'normal' and ticked 1 of the tall, dark and handsome boxes. I jokingly expressed my disappointment regarding the tall... I'm only 5ft 3, I need someone to reach the top of the cupboards. But in the grand scheme of things, I can compromise and use a step stool.
He was described as shy, not into clubbing and just generally 'nice'. My friend's husband has known him on and off for nearly 20 years and said he was a good guy.
I (or rather my mum) sent back a photo of me and our numbers were exchanged. Almost immediately he messaged with an opening line of 'I didn't think you would be so beautiful' and other cheesy messages of 'my day got better when you started texting me'.
We small talked over text for a few days before he asked to meet up. Armed with negative covid tests, we took my dog for a walk in the park, in the rain... He bought me flowers-the first time a date has ever done that and he made a big fuss of the puppy. Talk was a little stilted mainly on my part because I was concentrating on the dog. The walk was uneventful until we attempted to cross a muddy bog we had underestimated. I lost my shoe which he rescued and he walked with the dog for the rest of the trek. The awkward end moment arrived which ended with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I received a message when I got home saying he had a lovely time but had got really nervous when he 'saw how beautiful I was'... (his opinion, not mine).
We arranged another socially distanced walk for the next weekend (minus the dog), he gave me more flowers and offered to hold an umbrella if it rained. Conversation flowed a bit better and we learned a bit more about each other. He's a nice guy.
But... Is nice enough? He is so kind, we have identified a few similarities: he is anti-smoking and is close to his family. He never leaves a message unreplied and is very complimentary (quite often crossing into cheesy). On paper he should be ideal: but the real world is a bit different. It's not that I don't like him as a person, I just don't think I like him as a potential romantic partner. It's only been 2, unconventional dates but I don't feel a connection that I've had with other people (despite nothing happening with them).
Add into that we are in a lock down and it will probably be a few months before more traditional dates of going out to eat or going to each other's houses can happen again. Winter weather is hardly ideal either. Therefore the thought of just meeting for walks isn't exactly inspiring. I suppose we could give video calls a try...
On a more shallower note: I don't fancy him. I've always said being a nice person is the most important thing but I didn't realise a physical attraction is also important to me: therefore I don't deserve him (or anyone?) if something as fickle as the way he looks is putting me off. People I've found more attractive have been twats so why am I focusing so much on that? Maybe if I felt more of a 'connection' it wouldn't...
It's only been two dates so I may be over thinking a bit but when he's talked about me taking him travelling and how I would like his siblings if I met them he's clearly thinking about this possibly being on the long term side.
I don't want to hurt his feelings but is just because he's nice (and the only available option) enough to pursue this without feeling as though I'm stringing him along. At the risk of being a cold hearted bitch, I like him but I don't think I like like him.
I realise I sound whiny and ungenerous: here is a kind man who so far (2 dates) has treated me really well but I've felt more of a pull towards other guys that I've spent less time with.
He doesn't deserve someone who is unsure and has their own issues to get through, which leads me to that old classic-it's not you, it's me...
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